


how am i supposed to pretend?

by oneorangeshoelace



Category: Newsies (1992)
Genre: Other, Trans Male Character, i'm really struggling with how to tag this without spoiling it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-23
Updated: 2017-02-23
Packaged: 2018-09-26 13:13:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9898670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oneorangeshoelace/pseuds/oneorangeshoelace
Summary: Racetrack said, “I know you have something to tell me, but can I tell you something first?”“What makes you think I have something to tell you?”“Uh, cuz I’ve met you?”





	

Racetrack opened the door a second after the knock. “Miz Conlon!” he said, grinning upon seeing his visitor. “I was hoping you’d be by! I was actually just about to text you.”

“Any reason?” Spot asked, stepping past him.

Race hesitated a second. “Ah, no. Just missed you,” he grinned, giving Spot a quick kiss on the cheek.

“Sure,” Spot said shortly, unconvinced, leaning into the kiss anyway.

“Hey, nice haircut!” Race noticed. “When did you get that?”

“Like an hour ago,” Spot said, thinking about touching it again for the millionth time and deciding not to this time. “Do you like it?”

“I like it a lot! Very slick. Very butch.” Race ran his fingers through Spot’s hair admiringly, then dropped his hand abruptly. “Is butch your new thing?”

“Something like that,” Spot said, wrapping Race in a hug.

“Well, I like it,” Race said, hugging back. “God, it’s good to see you. My best girl,” he grinned.

Spot pulled back. “Are either of your foster parents home?”

“Nah, they’re at work. You wanna head to my room anyway?”

“Yeah.”

Once they were curled up together in Race’s bed, Racetrack said, “I know you have something to tell me, but can I tell you something first?”

“What makes you think I have something to tell you?”

“Uh, cuz I’ve met you?”

Race received an eye-roll from Spot. “Yeah, go ahead,” Spot said.

Race took a deep breath. “So, I figure there’s no way to say this without just saying it. Um, I really hope you don’t mind, but I just wanted you to know I’m bisexual. It’s, uh, it’s not really a choice, so—” He cut himself off when suddenly Spot’s face was pressed hard against his chest, and he was being squeezed so tightly it kind of hurt.

“Babe, what—” he started.

“I’m transgender,” Spot said, lifting his head enough for Race to be able to hear him.

“What?”

“I’m a trans man,” Spot said. “I figured it out a while ago, and I’m sick of hiding, and I got this haircut today and I came over to tell you and break up with you because I didn’t think it was fair for either of us for you to be a straight guy dating a gay trans guy.”

“Wait, you’re breaking up with me? Wait, wait, angel, come on—”

“Well, no, I mean, I guess not anymore,” Spot said. “I mean, if you’re—God, what a situation. I mean, I’m totally okay with you being bisexual, I mean half the people we know are bisexual. So if you’re okay with me being trans, and you’re gonna respect that and stuff, then I don’t see any reason…” Spot cut himself off, looking lost for once.

“I’d really, really like to keep being your boyfriend. Do you wanna be my boyfriend?”

“Um. Yes. Yeah. I’d like that a lot.”

“Cool. Hey—can I kiss you?”

“Course you can.”

Race smiled and kissed him. When he pulled away, Spot said, “You seemed a little shaky there, Higgins.”

“Well, it was my first time kissing a boy on purpose, so I guess I was a little nervous about getting it right.”

“Oh, you dope. It’s just me.”

“Yeah, like that isn’t scary enough by itself.” Spot laughed a little at that, and Race relaxed. “Hey, do you have—not to rush you or anything, but do you have a new name or pronouns or anything yet?”

“Oh,” Spot said. “Yeah, I do, actually. I, um—I’m a binary trans man, like Jack is, you know, so I’m just gonna use he/him/his pronouns. Oh, but—actually, I want to come out kind of gradually, so could you just use those when we’re alone for now?”

“Whatever you need, handsome,” Race said. “What about your name?”

“Don’t laugh,” Spot warned.

“I would never laugh at you! I have never laughed at you in my whole life.”

“You’re so full of shit,” Spot said, and Race laughed. Spot continued, “Um, okay, so when I was a kid, before you met me, people used to call me Spot? It was just for a few years, I think it stopped when I was about eight or nine, but I, um. I liked it a lot.”

“Spot,” Race said, trying it out, and then, “my boyfriend, Spot Conlon. Spot Conlon! Oh, dude, that is so awesome. That is just perfect. I love it. That’s a badass name, is what that is.”

“Thanks,” Spot said. After a moment, he said, “What about you? Are you going to—oh, man, I didn’t realize. If I come out, then you have to come out. Hey, I can wait for as long as you need, okay? I don’t want to pressure you into anything.”

“I think I’m pretty close to being ready, actually,” Race said. “I mean, you are the first person I told and all, but I’m pretty sure most of the people I know are going to be okay with it. You’re the one I was most worried about. Anyone else, I’m much more okay with losing.”

“Okay,” Spot said quietly. “Well, we can talk about it more as we go along, okay? I don’t want either of us to do anything we aren’t ready for.”

“Yep.”

“Cool.”

“Hey, Spot? Can I tell you something?”

“Sure thing.”

“When I saw your haircut, the first thing I thought was that you looked like a really hot guy.”

“You liar.”

“No no no! Hand to God, I swear it’s true! Would I lie to you, Spot?”

Spot narrowed his eyes at him. “I don’t know. Would you?”

“No!”

“Okay, then.” Then Spot kissed him, and kissed him again. Racetrack melted a little bit.

“Hey, Spot.”

“Yeah?”

“You’re the most badass dude in Brooklyn now.”

“You’re damn right.”

“Spot. Guess what else, Spot.”

“What?”

“You’re the most badass dude in Brooklyn, and I’m your boyfriend.”

“Yeah,” Spot said. “It’s pretty fucking cool.”

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I don't think anyone really says "plot bunny" anymore but this plot bunny has been stuck in my head for YEARS.
> 
> Come talk to me on tumblr! I'm oneorangeshoelace over there, too.


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